Controlled Crying Part 1 – We Bit The Bullet…Well, My Husband Did!

by Sarah on March 11, 2013


The camels back finally broke last week after moving house and (as we have done so many occasions before) after spending a good few nights “tag-teaming” out way through twelve long hours of regular waking and crying on the part of our dear son my husband and I started discussing whether we should try what so many people have suggested us doing before -  controlled crying.

I know this method of sleep training tends to divide opinions – most people either swear by it or liken it to some kind of cruelty. Well, I’ve always sat on the fence actually…though perhaps veering more to the notion that it’s not a very pleasant way to send your child to sleep, so if we could avoid it I would.

However, by Wednesday last week I was a zombie and an emotional wreck – snapping my way through the day, whilst on the verge of tears and counting down the hours till I could eat my evening meal and head to bed to ensure 4 hrs sleep before the sleepless cycle started once more…(You see Dylan no longer wants to be held to go to sleep he wants his space, the freedom to fidget and turn on his front, but he also hates being placed in his cot. Bed time has become a stressful battle of wills and the same happens when he wakes through the night – which has in recent months been up to every hour 1/2) And at this point my husband pointed out that we were in danger of truly failing our son – for we had become miserable shells of ourselves, unhappy in each others company, point scoring on who was more exhausted and (this is perhaps the worst failing of all) becoming short tempered with Dylan as if he was purposefully keeping us from our bed.

So, after a hurried dinner before I left to meet my book (wine) club gals, we decided that in a few days we’d try controlled crying.

I think you can guess what happened next…

I returned from my evening out to find my husband grinning from ear to ear. “Did Dylan behave himself at bedtime?” I asked. “Sort of” was Adam’s reply. “He started squealing and squirming in my arms, not wanting to be held, so I bit the bullet and started the controlled crying without you”.

My hero.

My husband knows I’ve been battling with the idea of CC. One minute I think it’s the only solution and the next I’m burning lavender oil in the house whilst massaging Dylan’s feet in the hope I can lull him into a sleepy state and place him in his cot with no tears…

Adam taking charge – stepping up this way – putting his foot down with me all-the-while having to steady himself with the comfort of knowing he’s trying to teach our little boy a valuable skill – well, I was and am, absolutely floored by it. I’m in awe of his steely determination to make such a huge decision for our family and stick to it and to have released me from the burden of feeling like every major parenting choice is mine to make alone. Daddy has got confident!

We’ve now completed three full nights and two failed days. But at risk of making this the longest blog post ever, I’m saving a night by night account for Wednesdays post, though I will say this – we haven’t cracked it yet – nor have we felt the need to abandon it…progress is being made, but with baby steps. Suffice to say – I’ve had more sleep in the last 72 hours than in the last 7 weeks, which is something – though both Dylan and I have also cried harder than ever before, so we are still exhausted!

Anyhoo, until Wednesday…Thanks for stopping by.

Love Sarah xxx

PS I’d like to thank Susie’s Tea Room’s in Appledore for serving me the best home-made Bakewell Slice whilst I make use of their free Wifi – lifesavers!

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Sam March 11, 2013 at 10:53 pm

Stay strong sister! As a parent, also in the mist of controlled crying with our little lad I am with you. I am awful at it but can see light at the end of the tunnel and sleep filled nights ahead. Good luck xx


Sarah March 12, 2013 at 3:05 pm

Oh thanks Sam! I did my first night solo last night…it was harrowing but the pay off was 12 hours of sleep from Dylan! Amazing! We’re a happy household today xxx


Sarah March 12, 2013 at 4:48 pm

Ps Sam – update on the blog tomorrow…& please let us know how you’re getting on! X


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