The One Where We’re Quizzed About Baby No2.

by Sarah on June 7, 2013

 

annetaintorOn Monday I was asked on two separate occasions if we were planning on having another child soon. OK, so the first person who asked might have caught me sniffing a newborns head at baby-group - but the other asked simply because Dylan is now at an age where it’s perfectly feasible.

I admit, it is a conversation my hubby and I have had recently – but it was very fleeting conversation. I veer from moments of “Pant’s off hubby I want to make another gorgeous buba” to “Good god, he’s been whining all day, how could we ever contemplate doing this again?” almost daily. That’s parenthood I guess and I tend to convince and unconvince myself for the following reasons:

  • I love my son so ruddy much I can’t imagine ever loving another child in the same way - but also acknowledge that my heart will simply double in size because my capacity for love is now so great.
  • When I catch a whiff of newborn scent I remember the rooting and snuggles and those moments in the dead of the night we’d sit and stare at each other, with a strange and wonderful sense of knowing…but then also remember the relentless feeding, the relentless crying and the general feelings of hopelessness when you can’t figure out what’s wrong.
  • I remember the labour. Bugger that old wives tale about your body forgetting the pain. I bloody remember it all vividly! The first ten hours were wonderful…the last 18 not so great. If I so much as catch a glimpse of a tub of salt or smell the intense aroma of tee tree oil, it brings tears to my eyes (sorry Amry, I know you’ve been there too and are soon to re-visit!)
  • I may never be alone again. Or I should say…I may never pee alone again. OK, so I’m being a little dramatic, but I will openly admit, the selfish side of me sometimes throws a pity party for the sense of freedom that’s now gone…And I actually don’t really mean that in a physical sense…Dylan has raised the stakes. I will constantly worry about him and any other child(ren) we might have FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
  • Money shouldn’t be an issue but it has to be. We are comfortable at times and strapped at times and whilst I don’t want to spoil Dylan I also want to give him security and open doors to the big wide world - and that can cost. If we have another child, we have to earn more as a family to sustain the lifestyle I’d like us to have. It’s not a ‘feeling’ consideration – it’s a practical one.
  • I don’t want Dyl’s to be an only child. And please don’t be offended if you are or if your child is…my decision is born from the fact that my husband and both my parents haven’t got any brothers or sisters and all three would have loved siblings, so that’s what we’re basing our decision on. Plus I adore having a brother. Just don’t tell him that.
  • I’m scared of having a girl. We’d love one of each (my husband especially)…but I’d also be very happy with another boy. I know what to do with boys now. I feel my son has the best role model in his father…but am I a good enough one for a girl?! I still feel like a little girl myself at times.

So there you have it. My “For’s” and “Against” laid bare. And writing them down hasn’t made the decision any clearer – which I guess goes to show that whilst we’re happy to consider another child, we’re not quite ready to expand our family yet.

Where do you sit in all of this? Are you/did you just have one child or a whole brood? And does the presumptuous questioning get your back up too? I mean just because a woman has done it once, doesn’t mean she feels compelled to have another child - or can…

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Love Sarah xxx

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Libby S July 8, 2013 at 10:30 am

Ooh, just discovered this blog and I love it! This post especially. My daughter is only 6 months and people are already asking me if we plan on having another! Your for and against list is pretty much identical to mine! I will NEVER EVER forget the pain of childbirth. I don’t care what anyone tells me. That memory is with me for life!

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Sarah July 9, 2013 at 10:30 am

Thanks Libby – Isn’t it crazy? I just want to say to people “mind you own business”! and yes, those women (my mum included) who say you forget the pain…they lie!!!! ;) xxx

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